Oh, the dreaded revision piece. This piece was very easy for me to choose as I really blew it on paper #2. I loved the thought behind the assignment, interviewing someone for a then vs. now theme, yet I very poorly worked through it. The professor started my critique with the word “Yikes”. That’s not a good sign! She went on to say, “There are a LOT of good ideas here—and you could have written a paper on any one of them.” This was the exact criticism that I needed and actually helped me to write a better paper #3. I had good ideas but tried to bring too many things into the mix when I should have focused on one area. End result = poor execution.
I am notorious for fitting all my ideas into one paragraph. The biggest struggle of this class, which seems very weird to me, is to simply simplify. The whole idea behind the thesis is simplicity. You make one statement and then back it up, over, and over, and over again. I am working on this, but I still struggle. Simplify – it seems like such and easy task, yet it is the most difficult for me. Simplify, do you see a theme here?
The thought behind this paper was the bar community, then and now, and how the economic situations of the country do not affect loyal bar customers from going to their favorite bars. My mistake in the original version was that I also added in paragraphs on women bartenders and women customers in bars which confused the topic as I never really settled on one idea. I’ve narrowed my focus and returned to my original focus of how loyal bar customers are not affected by hard economic times. To be honest I probably could spend another week trying to get this paper to a place where I’d be happy with it. I guess that’s part of the process, revision, revision, and yet again revision.
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